N.B. The information supplied here is the result of practical experiences and academic sourcing. Try the strategies if you feel they may apply to your situation.The article is written in good faith. Edusyn welcomes and will acknowledge the contribution of any professional specialised in this area.

Challenging behaviours

You and I behave in response to personal and outside influences. Physical, emotional and chemical triggers stir us into action. We eat because we're hungry. We sleep because we're tired. We laugh because we are happy. We are nice to others because we feel good. We are nasty because we feel bad.

How we see others behave is a sign of how they respond to these forces.

A child has a tantrum because they want it - their own way. Our response to that behaviour dictates a sequence of events that may be settling for the child OR aggravates the momentum of the behaviour even further.

All we want to do when a child throws a particularly challenging behaviour is to STOP the act and get on with life.

It is true that the causes of some behaviours are complex and involve variables, like the chemical balances in a body, that only specialists can hope to address.

HOWEVER

There is the danger of knee-jerk reactions and quickly labelling certain behaviours and history of behaviours as 'complex' and  'the result of something wrong' as a way of transferring the blame on 'something else'. What happens when we do this? We immediately stop targeting the behaviour and throw our energies at responding to the 'perceived' cause. What if the 'suggested' or 'convenient' cause is not the right one?

For the sake of the 'welfare' of the child, not others, we need to look realistically at the 'syndrome' trend. Why are 'syndromes' only attributed to negative behaviours. Is it possible that a history of consistent positive behaviour by  a child could be the result of a particular illness or disease, or syndrome? One might immediately shriek out 'WHY?' So, why, then, do we label 'negative' behaviours under those terms? Because they bother us? Or, because we need to 'help' the child. Help the child do what, become the best they can be? Or, help them adjust better to the 'system'?

I don't know, I'm just posing a few questions for us to reflect on the motives behind why we 'react' or 'respond' to some specific child's behaviour. 

Some Suggestions:

THE ENVIRONMENT

The causes of some behaviours, especially the really annoying and frustrating types, can easily throw us into a 'defensive' and 'survival' mode rather than approaching it in a rational and consistent way.

I would dare to say that much of the treatment of these 'challenged' children is the result of people trying to 'survive' the child's behaviour, rather then prioritising the child's needs to have a chance for a 'normal' future.

The 'survival' kind of strategy, although it invites some temporary peace, may not be directed at the causes of the behaviour. Also, a program based on 'survival' may not have any long term positive effect on the development of the child.

ONE - Consistency

Put yourself in the shoes of the child that has 'challenging behaviours' and, subsequently, faces a myriad of experiences, stimulations and proddings that the average child who lives a 'balanced' life does not have. Do those 'artificial' stimulants help the child settle into a more ordered lifestyle and behaviour patterns?

We need to face a reality. Provide those children with a more consistent environment where THEY can develop the skills to cope better and WE learn to deal with a more manageable siutuation.

SUGGESTIONS

1) Create an environment that is more ordered and less complex for the child. Gather the team dealing with the behaviours, including the child, and agree to a set of appropriate rules and consequences that all parties must adhere to.

Everyday, the child must be encouraged to adhere to those rules. There must be joys in achievement and consequences in failures - like everyone else who is trying to cope in our personal worlds. Any artificial environmental factor will not develop any healthy skills for the child to cope with his/her environment. Especially, when all the 'attention' stops and the child, now grown older, is on his/her own.

MORE TO COME - What type of reward maximises positive outcomes for the child?

Contact us to contribute to the above article or have a view on the 'More to come' question. Have you experienced something that works. Tell us about it.